A child with ADHD will have some difficulty following rules, doing chores and homework, and generally behaving the way grown-ups would like. Instead of having to cope with the daily battles and exasperation that comes with raising a child with ADHD, parents can try some discipline techniques that will lessen the hassles and make life at home more manageable.
As long as a child does not have a combination of special needs such as autism or oppositional defiant disorder that may need the assistance of a trained child behavior professional, setting limits for a child with ADHD will be the first step in improving your child’s bad behavior.
Setting Limits for Kids With ADHD
The first step in helping your child with her behavior issues is to set clear limits and boundaries, and firmly repeat these rules whenever necessary. It may even help to display household rules prominently on the refrigerator. If it seems that a child might break a rule (like interrupt an adult who is on the phone, for example), the parent must remind the child of the rule consistently before it is broken or immediately afterwards.
Use Positive Attention to Reward Good Behavior
Positive attention is probably the most powerful way to reinforce the desired skills and behaviors. A simple hug, thumbs up or wink will do wonders for a child with ADHD who is behaving appropriately. Whenever a parent states a rule or asks a child to do something, she should absolutely follow it up with positive praise when the child complies.
Tell, Don’t Ask – Speaking Firmly to the Child With ADHD
Parents must show their children that they are in charge. Instead of asking for the child to pick up her toys, a parent should tell her to do the chore. It is okay to say, “please”, but it is important that a parent says, “Pick up your toys, please”, and not something wishy-washy like, “Do you want to pick up your toys now?”
To make these commands more effective, parents can also reduce any distractions around the child, give one command at a time instead of many at once, and even have the child repeat what you are telling him to do. The timer is also an effective tool. By setting a time limit, the child will be more motivated to beat the clock and get the job done.
Punishments for ADHD Misbehavior
The most effective punishment for children with ADHD, and in fact for any child, is the time-out. Instead of verbal criticism that will make a child feel badly about himself and even increase unwanted behavior, time-outs are easy to understand and they will isolate the child from others.
A time-out can be done in a chair in the corner of a room, or in a private area of a public place such as an aisle at the store, a corner in the mall or the bathroom of a restaurant. It can also be done in the car seat with a parent close by.
Another possible consequence for misbehavior is a penalty or fine. This is particularly effective if a parent is using a token reward system for good behavior. Tokens are rewarded whenever a child does something good, such as following the rules or using polite language. However, if the child has a serious misbehavior, tokens can be taken away. Older children can be fined video game time, TV time or even allowance money.
If a family’s discipline methods include the above punishments for ADHD misbehavior, it would be best if the child knows about these consequences ahead of time. Surprise punishments or ones that seem unfair in the eyes of the child will be met with further defiance, tantrums or other undesirable behavior. Managing ADHD behavior will be challenging, but worth the extra effort and planning, and will eventually result in a more well-adjusted and happier child.
Sources:
Barkley, Russell A., Ph.D., Taking Charge of ADHD. NY: The Guilford Press, 2000.
Reiff, Michael I., MD (Editor-in-Chief), ADHD: A Complete and Authoritative Guide. The American Academy of Pediatrics, 2004.
Karen Plumley - Karen Plumley is a writer specializing in parenting and education. She works for Parenting NH and the Hippo, NH's most widely read ...
