One of the most important aspects of any friendship is conversation. Talking to one another will provide ways of learning about each other, connecting, relating, and forming close bonds. Children with Asperger syndrome have difficulty finding topics of discussion that are interesting to others. They tend repeat statements and jokes too often, are awkward about starting and ending dialogue, and don’t know how to start a conversation and keep it going.
Teaching AS children some basic rules of conversation, and providing conversation starters will help them easily find topics to talk about with peers, and ultimately make friends. Below are some rules and conversation starters for kids with Asperger’s, and ideas that will encourage meaningful peer dialogue.
Basic Rules of Conversation
Children will Asperger’s will need to learn some basic rules of conversation before they get started with improving their conversation skills with peers. Here are some suggestions for teachers, parents, and students with Asperger syndrome:
- Practice eye contact in the mirror
- Practice appropriate conversation distance
- Express emotion by varying the tone of voice
- Talk about topics only once or twice
- Once a dialogue is started, stay on topic
- But when others change the subject, let them
- Ask questions and remember a person’s likes and dislikes
- Respond to questions being asked
- Learn to take turns in conversation
- Practice listening skills
All of these conversation tips will come in handy when a child with AS is attempting to speak with peers and make friends.
Conversation Starters for Kids With Asperger’s
Conversation starters can be developed based on the child’s age and what their peers might be interested in at the time. Things like video games, movies, music, fashion, and sports are all great subjects of conversation for kids of all ages. However, these popular topics may not be of particular interest to a kid with AS, so it will be necessary to offer guidance on how to get these conversations started.
Here are a few good conversation starters that may help a child learn to begin meaningful dialogue with peers:
- Do you own a DS/Game Boy/Nintendo Wii?
- What is your favorite video game?
- I love watching the Celtics. Do you like basketball?
- Do you have any pets?
- Do you like playing inside or outside?
- I love your jacket. Where did you get it?
- What is your favorite board game?
- What is your favorite book? What is it about?
- Who is your favorite teacher?
- What sports do you play?
- Do you play a musical instrument?
- My worst chore is taking out the garbage. Do you have chores to do at home?
- Did you ever break a bone?
- I like to paint. Do you like art?
- What do you do on the weekends?
Conversation starter cards can be made and updated periodically to keep up with the trends, or they can be purchased. There are lots of pre-made conversation cards and game cards that children with Asperger syndrome can use to find topics and help start up a fun dialogue with friends. One great Web site is Super Duper Publications. This company offers a variety of conversation starter cards, and other learning materials for children with special needs.
Help children with Asperger’s develop conversation skills and meaningful friendships through guiding their understanding of the rules of conversation, and providing ideas for conversation starters. Have them practice making eye contact, voice inflection, taking turns, and listening attentively. Then, using conversation starter cards may help them stay on topic and start conversations that will be interesting to their peers.
For more information, see Conversation Skills for Students with Autism.
Karen Plumley - Karen Plumley is a writer specializing in parenting and education. She works for Parenting NH and the Hippo, NH's most widely read ...
