Stay-at-home parents are often asked to watch children of working families. However, just because a person does not work, it doesn’t mean that he or she is always available or willing to watch additional children. Childcare is a tricky, expensive and often underestimated responsibility and those that are willing to perform these duties should never be taken for granted.
When it becomes too difficult for one reason or another to take care of children of a friend or neighbor, it might be time to ask for compensation, cut down on the days and duration, or stop altogether. At the very least, a caregiver should always think about and ask for the things she needs from working parents right up front in order to avoid any uncomfortable situations later.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask
Stay-at-home parents taking care of other children should not be afraid to ask for things from working parents. For example, parents who bring their children to daycare will usually pack a lunch for them, so it is reasonable to ask for the visiting child to bring a lunch and snacks for a lengthy stay. Caregivers should not be expected to spend money feeding others’ children, especially if there is only one source of household income.
There are many other items that might be useful to ask for when caring for another child or children. Here are just a few ideas that will cut down on childcare costs, and help ensure the stay-at-home caregiver is more prepared:
- Toys and games
- Books
- Diapers, pull-ups and other such items for infants/toddlers
- Car seats for young children in case an emergency arises
- Change of clothing
- Sunscreen or bug spray
- A favorite DVD
- Cell phone for older children (to call a parent if necessary)
- Money (for a trip to the ice cream parlor or candy store)
Getting Compensated
If a working parent asks a neighbor or friend for childcare on a regular basis, he or she should offer some form of compensation. Whether it is accepted or not should be up to the stay-at-home parent. If it seems that the child or children are at your house more and more often, and no money or other arrangement has been offered, the caregiver has every right to ask to be compensated.
All parents are aware that hosting another person’s child can be burdensome in many ways. Although most working parents do offer support and compensation, some may need to be reminded. The stay-at-home caregiver can say this in a polite way that will not cause hard feelings. It is important to express that taking on an added child or multiple children is a huge responsibility and can be expensive and/or inconvenient.
If a home care provider does not feel comfortable asking a close friend or relative for monetary compensation, she can always ask for compensation in other ways. For instance, there may be a time on a weekend when the working family can offer to care for the stay-at-home parent’s children so she can go out for the evening.
When It Is Time to Say No
When a caregiver feels overburdened and taken advantage of, or if the children are not getting along nicely, it may be time to cut down or completely stop the childcare duties before ill feelings develop any further. Simply letting the working parents know that things are not going smoothly or that you are no longer available may be all that is necessary. Giving a little bit of notice is a polite way to end the caregiving relationship.
Karen Plumley - Karen Plumley is a writer specializing in parenting and education. She works for Parenting NH and the Hippo, NH's most widely read ...
